BUTTERFLIES IN MY BELLY?

 I Think I'm In Love

Her heart beats again, that thud that she has now become familiar with. She thought she would die the first day it happened; her heart had never beaten so fast. How light this young heart felt, just over two words, “my love”. Derrick had just sent her a message with those two words, and Helen was ready to levitate and find the clouds. Just before she could leave her bed though, she remembered one thing, rather a person; her mother.

Mrs Ndubisi wasn’t Helen’s real mum, she was her step-mum, but with the relationship they had built, the outsider observing them could never tell. Her biological mum died ten years ago, when Helen was only nine years old, she was the unfortunate victim of another community attack in Kaduna state. Her death wasn’t the only one that day, eight other traders were killed among the 43 reported casualties on the news, not to mention the actual figure. Helen knew at least four of the victims, her father knew more, and as usual, some bodies would never be found, just missing persons the police would log and that would be the end of it.

Mr Ndubisi could take it no more; losing his wife after his 12-year old son disappeared seven months ago was enough. He returned to his hometown three months later, after tidying up his business in Kaduna, the northern part of the country was never going to see him again. They settled in Awka after another four months, and life moved on.

Helen lived alone with her dad, and as much as he tried to carry on, she missed her mum, but didn’t know how to tell her father. Unknown to her, her father had found love again with Amaka, a woman who lost her husband less than a year into their marriage, and had stayed single ever since. The both of them were learning to love again, but how would Emeka tell Helen that he was going to take a new wife? Well, it eventually happened one day, and how great his relief was when he found out they were on the same page.

Helen was 11 when she got a new mum and this proved to be timely, puberty could be a tough one on a young girl, especially one who had changed home twice in two years.

Getting to bond with Amaka wasn’t as easy as she had thought it would be. She was different from her mum; not bad, just different. She had her strengths and of course, her weaknesses too, but for some reason, Helen couldn’t help but feel repulsive towards her every now and then. Their relationship gradually deteriorated, no matter how helpful Amaka tried to be. Unknown to her, Amaka was already pregnant.

It got to her father’s attention one day and this made him call for a family meeting. He told Helen that he understood her position, but asked her to make the most of having another mother, for it wasn’t going to be very wise to keep denying herself the benefits she stood to gain by opening up to her new mother. Amaka on her part, simply told Helen that she was going to be a big sister real soon, and that did the magic.

Helen burst into tears amidst her excitement at the thought of having a younger one. She apologised for her unruly behaviour earlier and promised to improve on her behaviour. Gradually, she began to warm up to Amaka. She would wait on her, assist with the chores at home, run errands, and it wasn’t uncommon to see her try to outdo herself just to ensure the woman carrying her younger brother was not stressed.

Amaka seized this chance and turned mother, mentor, and friend to Helen. She had a baby boy and Helen was so excited she felt like the real mother. They took turns nursing the baby and how happy they were. The baby deepened the growing bond they were having. Helen now told her new mum everything about her, and Amaka wasn’t going to let her down. She became involved in almost every part of her life. She scrutinised her friends, books she read, programs she watched on TV, and hardly let her go out by herself.

Helen was growing into a fine, young lady, and she was budding beautifully. Her academic performance was good; she made decent friends, and already knew where she wanted to be ten years ahead and was working on being that person already. An extra motivation she had was her brother, Leonard, who was named after her late brother. She wanted to be a model for him and make her family proud, especially her late mum, and her living mum too.

Well, back to her still racing heart, we’re in the present and she’s found a guy who likes her and she likes too, maybe too much. It’s the first time she has felt this way for a guy, and she doesn’t know how to deal with this wave of emotions.

One thing she knows though is that she has someone she can talk to, someone who has been where she is right now, and can help her navigate the unpredictable waters of romance and intimacy properly. She might not have all the answers now, but she knows that thanks to her mum, and partner, she would be okay.

Disclaimer!

This story has no political undertone. It is simply a story aimed at passing a message on the virtue of accountability. We, however, recognise the unfortunate situation which has persisted in Kaduna state. We pray that it comes to a quick end, and that those who mourn are comforted.