MARRY A MAN WITHOUT A JOB?

How I Missed the Man of My Dreams

Delay they say is dangerous. This proved very true for me. I should be telling this story as a married woman, with two kids, or at least pregnant for the second one. If only I had acted when I should have, that would have been my life. I still see him with her sometimes, and I see their lovely daughter who looks so much like her mother. The feeling that rises on my inside is not envy; it is sorrow with a dash of regret.

It was in 2018 I met him, his name was Gyang. Gyang was a single, well-to-do young man with a smile that could make a lady weak in the knees. Well, maybe just me, but he had that effect. I had a shop at Satellite market here in Jos. I used to sell provisions then, and I still do now. My business was doing well and I was happy. I was in charge of my life. I was a graduate with a good degree, and I was already involved in trading from my days as a student. I never really had the time for a serious relationship because I was too committed to my business. After all, the business gave me most of the things I thought I needed in a man, so I had little interest in getting involved with someone who was going to own me. I was even too tired after working 10 to 11 hours a week, six days a week to give enough attention to any man. The few men who tried always came down at this bus stop.

This changed when Gyang came to my shop in 2018. He was shopping for beverages and I had just what he wanted. I attended to him after attending to others before him, but he had already engaged me in a little friendly chat. The chat took a different turn when he asked if we had met before. Another one again, I thought, but he persisted and began asking a few questions.

It turns out that he was right. We were in the same faculty in school, but he was two years my senior in a different department. On realising he was saying the truth earlier, I apologised but he said I could only make it up to him by buying him a drink. I laughed and told him to be ready to wait, for I had no interest in that. He said he wouldn’t mind waiting and truly, he went home, came back just as I was about to close for the day, and he demanded his drink. It was a Saturday and I had no plans for church the following day, my rest day, so I agreed to his demand, and that was how we hit it off.

Fast forward to 2019, and I had finally found a man who fit me, almost like a glove. He had a remote job and that afforded him time to be in charge of his schedule. Gyang was a wonderful man, and I knew he would make a fine husband. He treated me with respect, was friendly with my family, and he would even come over to the shop to help me sometimes. I made more money than him but he didn’t mind, he just wanted my growth and happiness.

Things changed when Gyang asked me to marry him. I knew I was supposed to say yes immediately, I had rehearsed this so many times in my head, but for some reason I can’t explain, I told him to give me time to think about it, that we hadn’t really known ourselves that long. He agreed and I was thankful. Sadly, Gyang lost his job the following week, and strange thoughts began to creep into my mind. Just a little more time, let’s see how things go, I told myself.

Gyang tried looking for another job but it wasn’t working out for him. He started coming to my shop almost every day and I was gradually becoming uncomfortable with his presence. Whenever he reminded me of his marriage proposal, I told him to still give me some time. The truth was; I couldn’t see myself marrying a man without a job, whether he was a good man or not, goodness doesn’t pay bills.

Towards the end of the year, Gyang told me he was going to Abuja to try out things there. He would live with his uncle for the period. He asked me one last time if I would marry him, and he said anything but a yes would mean a no to him. Half-heartedly, I still asked him for more time. He thanked me and left.

In less than a month, I thought less about him and because of the Christmas season, business was super booming and I was happy. This happiness though, wasn’t going to last for as long as I thought it would.

It was 2020 and Gyang hadn’t called to wish me a Happy New Year, which was unlike him. I said I was going to call him later, but I didn’t. I resumed work as usual, preparing for a return to normal market days after the festivities. Then came a surprise nobody in the world had prepared for; the COVID-19 pandemic.

News, rumours, gossip, speculation and counter speculation filled the air. It was the first national lock down that brought the reality of the situation closer to me than it was before. I lived far from the market which was also locked down. I was on a compulsory holiday and I was so scared of the news everywhere. I stayed indoors all day, and through the period of rest and boredom, only one thought crossed my head: Gyang.

Now that I had more time than I was used to, I could only think of him, remembering his warmth, his jokes, his kind words, and his supportive nature. Unfortunately, whenever I tried to call his number, it was switched off. I tried his social media accounts, but he was never a social media person, he hadn’t even accepted my friend request on Facebook, neither had he followed me back on Instagram.

It had suddenly become torture spending the long days without him. I could only pray that he was safe and would return back to me after the lockdown was over.

The lockdown was eventually lifted and in September, I got my wish. My Gyang came back to me, only he didn’t come alone. He came with a lady named Peace, and immediately, I knew what was to follow. Peace was his fiancée, and they were getting married in November. He had once told me about her but I wasn’t really listening back then. They once had a thing but she had to leave for Abuja to work at her dad’s tech firm. They met again two weeks before the lockdown and she got him a contract job with her dad’s firm.

When the lockdown came, their firm stayed in business as they were working remotely, and a lot of businesses needed their services to stay operational in that period. Gyang was given full employment, an official car, and he and Peace found their love again. I wasn’t in the equation anymore, but we were friends, of course.

I choked back the tears that day and wished them well. They thanked me and left. The next time I saw Gyang, he only came to give me his wedding invite and wish that I find my own happiness. I was speechless.

Now, they are married, with a six month old baby girl. I haven’t found love since then, I haven’t even been trying. I lost the one I wanted because I delayed giving him a reply for selfish reasons. I should have been Mrs Gloria Gyang (GG), and not Peace.

I hope I’ll find love again one day, and when I do, I won’t let him go. I’ve lost Gyang, I won’t lose another.

NOTE: The pictures used and the people in them are not the characters in the story. They were only used to stimulate reader's imagination.

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