MY FAIRY TALE ENDED IN A MONTH

How My Marriage Was Saved

We had our 22^nd wedding anniversary last month, and whenever I remember the journey and how it’s been, I can’t stop my eyes from getting moist. I was only 23 then, and I was certain I had found love. Charles was 29, and we had been dating for two years before he popped the question, and I said yes. Our families knew it was going to come to this, so there was no real surprise.

Charles had been a gentleman, almost as good as they come, and I had even noticed my friends throw flirtatious glances in his direction, but he only had eyes for me. This didn’t exactly apply to me however, and the reason wasn’t far-fetched: I was young and pretty; and there were other guys who also wanted their chance with me. Charles was my stable boyfriend, and I am grateful now I didn’t go too far with any of the other guys.

Rejecting their advances wasn’t easy, especially two of them who I could clearly see were financially better off than Charles. He wasn’t poor, but he couldn’t give me ₦50,000 just for looking good, like one of them did. He treated me with as much luxury as he could, but like the average person, the bigger, better deal was hard to resist.

We got married and it was before the end of our honeymoon I realised that things were going to be quite different. Charles suddenly became more prudent with his finances, and I realised there was a difference between his money and our money. He gradually started to cut down on expenses, calling certain things luxuries he couldn’t afford. The same guy who used to take me shopping on random days and surprise me with sweet gifts now said he couldn’t afford to continue that way, especially with wedding bills he hadn’t fully sorted.

I couldn’t connect this person who was now my husband to the gentleman boyfriend I had, and this affected my love for him. My love for him started dying before the honeymoon was over and I couldn’t help it, or so I thought. He noticed the change in my behaviour, but whenever he asked me what was wrong, I would tell him to not bother. I wasn’t working, and being at home whenever he went to work, I was home alone, left to brood over the life I was now living and what my life could have been like if I had chosen a different person.

Three months into the marriage and I had decided to make life hell for him whenever he was at home. I stopped being the dutiful wife he thought he had married. I stopped doing his laundry, hardly cooked any meal, knowing he always came home tired and hungry, and ultimately, we couldn’t share a room, talk less of a bed. I looked for reasons to always get into arguments with him, and play the victim. Too many times, I knew what I was doing was wrong, and as much as a part of me didn’t like what was happening, I had this other part which loved the game, loved being in charge and giving hell to a man who wouldn’t spoil his darling wife.

His attitude towards me didn’t change as I had wished it would, and this took some of the fun out of it for me. He would act like nothing was wrong, and would stay out of my way when he sensed trouble. This Charles was boring, way boring. Our lives continued this way until I fell sick one fateful day.

It had been a normal day, and I thought so because I wasn’t paying any attention to the fever and body pains that had been gradually building up in me. Don’t get your hopes up, I wasn’t pregnant, it was typhoid fever. It hit me around 10 am, and by 2 pm, I couldn’t explain how I felt. The symptoms were having a field day with me, and it felt like hell. I tried to call Charles, but I couldn’t find my phone. I had put it on silent mode the previous day, because the husband I had but didn’t want to talk with was calling me and I didn’t want to pick his call that day. He wasn’t going to be home till around 9 pm, plenty trouble for me.

I had to force myself to sleep, but even my sleep was interrupted by the fever. I felt like I was going to die that day, and it was time to make peace with God before meeting him. I started saying my prayers, and when I had to mention Charles, I choked trying to call his name. I began to realise how horrible I had been to him and started asking God to forgive me and help him find the strength to forgive me too.

I had not finished praying before Charles came in. that was when I realised that it was a Friday, and he was home before 5 pm that day. Seeing me lying down sprawled on the floor, he wasted no time in rushing over to me. When he turned me to face him, he saw the tears in my eyes and assumed it was the fever that caused those tears. He got me some pain relief drugs, and took me to the nearest pharmacy. We ran tests, got the drugs that were recommended and he brought me home.

When we got home, he went straight to the kitchen and whipped up something light for me to eat before taking the drugs. I responded to everything he asked me to do, and when I slept off, he went grocery shopping. Charles was my nurse all through the weekend, and by Monday, I was feeling much better.

When I was strong enough to walk about, I asked Charles why he took care of me as he did, given how I had been to him for months. He simply shrugged and said that even though it wasn’t exactly easy for him, he did those things not because I deserved them, but because he made a promise to me the day we got married, and he owed it to God and to himself to keep his word, irrespective of my actions.

The tears rolled freely as I asked him to forgive me and eventually opened up and told him what had caused the whole change in behaviour. We talked things out and became a couple again that day, and that night too.

A man who was dedicated to me and to our union saved our marriage, and today we are happier and better for it. Surround yourself with people who really understand what it means to be dedicated and also walk the walk. They make it easier to bounce back when you fall.